Are You Manipulative?

We live in a world where manipulation is often masked as ministry. Whether in relationships, business, or even the church, it’s easy to confuse smooth speech, charisma, or outward appearances with genuine spiritual fruit. But Paul’s letter to the Thessalonians cuts through the noise with a model of what sincere ministry looks like and should help us reflect on whether we’re doing things for personal gain, or for Christ.

In 1 Thessalonians 2:3, Paul writes, “For our exhortation was not of deceit, nor of uncleanness, nor in guile.” Paul, Silvanus, and Timothy didn’t deceive or hide their motives when ministering the gospel and the truth of God. They weren’t pushing people to do what served them, they were pointing people to Christ for their benefit. Their exhortation (encouragement and call to action) was rooted in truth, not manipulation. And that’s a helpful mirror for us. Do we encourage others to grow in Christ? Or are we subtly encouraging others in certain directions in order to get them to agree with us, like us, look like us, or serve our own selfish interests? (2Co 4:2, Col 2:8-10, Eph 4:14-15)

In verse 4, Paul says they were entrusted with the gospel and spoke “not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts.” That’s the real test. Do you minister truth to be approved by people, or by God? When your goal is to win favor with others, the temptation to flatter, twist, or water down the truth becomes strong. But when you realize your audience is God, it helps you stay faithful, even when it's hard and there’s pressure to conform to someone else’s opinions and not to Christ (Rom 8:29, 12:1-2, Gal 1:10-12, Eph 6:5-8, Col 3:22-24, Pro 17:3).

Paul goes on to say in verse 5, “Neither at any time used we flattering words… nor a cloke of covetousness.” In other words, they weren’t buttering people up with false praise or hiding selfish ambition behind spiritual-sounding language. They didn’t treat truth like a sales pitch. They weren’t after influence, admiration, applause, or money: they were after the Thessalonians’ salvation and edification in Christ (2Co 2:17, 3:12, 1Co 2:1-5, Rom 16:17-18, Titus 1:10-11, Gal 6:13, 1Ti 6:9-10, Mat 6:1-2).

So how about us? Do we speak truth plainly, sincerely, and without strings attached? Or do we bend our words for influence, approval, attention, or personal gain?

Real ministry doesn't manipulate and it isn’t deceptive. It doesn’t bait with flattery or mask selfish goals under a spiritual “cloke.” Instead, it flows from a heart approved by God, grounded in the gospel of grace, and anchored in love for others because of Christ’s love toward us (2Co 5:14-21).

Let’s examine our hearts. Let’s measure our motives. And let’s minister with integrity, humility, and boldness, not manipulation.